The Secret Police
by reikohawkeye
Summary: The city officials have been tracking down an untouchable criminal that has been messing with them for five years. They gave up on catching the criminal but he returned, making more chaos in the city. Suddenly, an Englishman claimed he can capture him with a special force called the Secret Police. Human AU.
1. Secret Revealed

**Yeah, I got my idea from the Vocaloid song: Himitsu Keisatsu (Secret Police). Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.**

* * *

The conference wasn't going too well; the city officers were pondering on a way to solve their problem. Silence had surrounded the previously busy meeting. The officials from the police force and the city officials were staring into space but had nothing on their mind. Suddenly, Ludwig, the vice mayor of the city, slammed his hand on the conference table angrily.

"We have to think quickly," he barked. "The increases on crime rates, especially robberies, are getting worse each time. We wouldn't want to disturb our city's peace" He sat down again wi everyone was watching him.

He gave a stern face as he spoke. "We might be dealing with _him_ again."

All of the people in the room swallowed at what he said and agreed with him. Ever since they stopped targeting _him_, there have been a lot of crimes committed. They all knew that it was only because of one person and that person was: Suspect #3079. Suspect #3079 was at first ranked as just a regular thief. Later, he somehow managed to move up into the most wanted list in the police force's criminal records. No one knows about how he moved and how he acted, not even his identity. He was known as the most untouchable and the most confusing opponent that the police had to face. They aimed to catch the scoundrel behind most of the robberies around the world for five years but then they grew tired of tailing him so they decided to increase their security and stopped tracking him after those hard five years. Later, Suspect #3079 was never heard of again. However this year, he came back with even more power and probably even more ability. The police force and the city officials were now finding a way to stop him, but…

How?

Everyone was pondering this, while the chief of the city's police force, Roderich Edelstein, continued to stay calm. Ludwig found him suspicious_. Judging from the way_ h_e acts right now; it was as if he knew an answer to everything, h_e thought. Before Ludwig could confront him, the wooden door opened and then came in a stranger. He was a blonde English man with emerald eyes and furry eyebrows with the size of caterpillars. He wore a tuxedo with a green tie that matched his eyes. Everyone in the conference gawked astounded by his sudden entrance. The English man then smiled and grabbed a seat.

"I'm sorry for my sudden entrance, everyone," he apologized.

Everyone's attention was on him: some staring, some glaring. Ludwig then broke the tension.

"Please state your name and why you're here."

The Englishman then rose from his seat while Roderich smiled. The Englishman fixed his tie and smiled at everyone. "I'm Arthur Kirkland," said, introducing himself. "I am the commander of the SPF. I can capture Suspect #3079."

Everyone except Roderich was surprised. Whispers were exchanged and even some questions were being passed. Ludwig only nodded at the statement. _This was probably why Roderich was smirking_, he thought. _He really did have a plan to catch the scoundrel. _Roderich then stood up and walked towards Arthur who was standing confidently behind his chair. "Let him explain everything," Roderich assured. "You can count on him in this situation." Everyone in the room was still in doubt but only agreed to the commander of the SPF. Arthur and Roderich slid back to their seats and Arthur started to explain.

"The police force has been solving a lot of crime scenes in this city," he began, "am I correct?" Everyone nodded. "Aside from the city's police force solving most of the cases around the city, there's a secret force supporting it," Arthur smiled, "and this is where I come in."

Arthur explained to everyone about the special force that worked with the city's police force, the Secret Police. It was a special police force that helped track down the worst criminals and solve the hardest cases. There were only a few people selected to join this special force and members were chosen around the world. They also specialize in spy forces and worked with military technology.

Arthur added, "One of them is Roderich Edelstein. He works as our detective." Everyone looked towards Roderich who nodded in apology for not mentioning earlier. Everyone in the conference had so many questions in their head but they were just too ashamed to ask in the sudden situation. Suddenly, Lukas Bondevik, one of the mayor's trusted officers, raised a question. "Does this mean you have the ability to find out who Suspect 3079 is and put a stop to his doings?" Roderich was surprised by this but Arthur continued.

"It would take long to capture him, but we can access some information about 3079 and be able to find an idea on how he works."

Everyone in the room shared whispers. They all agreed to give the special force a chance to prove their ability. However, they were all silenced when Arthur raised his hand.

"Feel free to tell anyone about the SPF (Secret Police Force) and don't hold back."

Everyone was astounded by that statement; even Roderich nearly spat his glass of water when Arthur made that bold statement. The city's officers were confused but everything was settled when Ludwig agreed to Arthur's reckless request. Austria had the urge to object but Arthur gave him the _just-get-along-with-it _look. The other officials were sharing whispers but it ended when Toris Laurinaitis, the mayor's secretary, timidly raised his hand. "Excuse me but, would you give us a reason? Why would you like to expose the secret force?" Roderich had also the same question in hand. Has Arthur been plotting something without him knowing? Roderich was startled when Arthur immediately responded to his question. "It's to catch 3079's attention. We would like to see 3079's reaction about a secret force supporting the city's police force. It's also good if we can make 3079 a bit startled or threatened with the news."

Toris nodded timidly and sunk into his chair slowly. Ludwig was convinced along with the other officials. Arthur was left waiting for a reply about whether the officers would gladly cooperate. Her crossed his legs on his seat and drank the glass of water that was served at his side. Roderich, who was eyeing him across his seat, gave him a concerned look. Ludwig then broke the tension when he spoke.

"We'd like to go along with your request as long as we can catch that sly bastard. Guess we also need extra hands."

The meeting ended with Arthur shaking everyone's hands and greeting them with his smile. Roderich saw a sparkle in his eye. He knew once again that everything was going according to his plan. Everyone left the room and left the young commander and the police chief inside the room. A conversation began when Arthur stopped drinking his second cup of tea.

"Was exposing the SPF to the public part of our plan?" Roderich asked while Arthur just stayed really calm.

"Yes, I just didn't want to tell you about it. Plus, the reason why I answered to Mr. Toris wasn't enough to explain the main goal on catching that bloody thief."

Roderich raised an eyebrow. "Then what's the main goal?"

"We use ourselves as bait. After catching his attention, he'd probably aim for us and then," Arthur gestured by pounding a fist on his other hand, "then we trap him."

Roderich nodded to his idea. It was pure genius but extremely prone to many dangers. They would never know if they were being attacked by the enemy. Not to mention that, their enemy was number one in the wanted list. As if he read his mind, Arthur answered.

"Let's put a little faith on our members. They're not that bad after all."

Arthur grinned broadly. "First, we need to _know_ our enemy before trying to catch him."

* * *

**Author's Note: Thank you to, mikishami, for helping me in my grammatical errors xD The next chappie will be released VERY SOON. I'm almost finished with it :3**


	2. The Pawns

Secret Police

**Chapter 2: The Pawns**

At the SPF Headquarters,

Major Honda Kiku stared into the eleven monitors surrounding the room. The folds on his eyes were prominent enough to be seen but his eyes were as expressionless as ever. Drinking the authentic Japanese tea served at his right side, Kiku tried to get rid of his drowsiness. He hardly had any sleep for two days because his superior, Commander Arthur, suddenly issued him to monitor the surveillance cameras placed around the city. Like any other lazy officer, he would have just slacked off in the monitoring room but he was too diligent on keeping his promise; so he stayed on guard. He somehow believed that his persistence on doing things so diligently was his flaw. Sighing, he continued to drink tea, but at the corner of his eye he saw two figures on the right side of one of the monitors. He instantly recognized them, even with just a quick glance. It was his superior and Detective Roderich. He stood up rapidly and grabbed his face towel that was at his right. _I must not turn my gaze away from these monitors. Never know if something might happen, _Kiku thought.

Not more than one minute later, the titanium door behind opened and the duo stepped in the room. Kiku stood up from his seat and politely greeted the two of them (as always.) Arthur's eyebrows furrowed as he examined his appearance.

"You've been pushing yourself too hard again, Honda." Arthur sighed.

Kiku, on impulse, denied this. "I won't tolerate myself slacking in my task, Commander."

Arthur expected this from him and just waved dismissively. "You can rest for now. Leave this to that bloody perverted frog." Kiku nodded and grabbed the items that were left on the desk. He stopped when Arthur called his attention.

"Suspect 3079 is on the move again. It's high time we have to enhance our information-gathering skills."

Honda with a tint of surprise on his voice reacted. "3079? I see. Indeed, we must stay alert." Roderich, who stayed silent the whole time, finally released an idea.

"I think we should hold a strategy meeting for this situation."

Arthur agreed with Austrian detective. "Honda," he commanded, "hand me the intercom microphone." Swiftly, Kiku did as he told and Arthur pressed the microphone's button.

"Attention, all of the SPF members," Arthur's voice boomed on the P.A. system around the HQ, "please gather at the meeting room, immediately. This also includes the agents."

He repeated this twice and ended his announcement. Kiku then continued to drink on his unfinished tea while Arthur just simply gazed at the monitors before him. Roderich then noticed how the two of them were not making haste.

"Well," Roderich scooted Arthur and Kiku to the door, "let's get moving." Arthur submitted to his command but wanted to tell him he was a too uptight while Kiku only nodded and gave a little yawn.

* * *

"Stop touching my uniform, you fudging _bastardo_."

Agent Lovino yelled out loud with his colorful speech. However, Private Antonio Fernandez continued to annoy the heck out of him. Antonio looked like a retard, poking Lovino and teasing him about his new uniform. Lovino stopped scolding him in his colorful language after he poked him on the cheek. His face suddenly turned into a dark shade of red when Antonio poked him there.

"Lovi, you're so cute," Antonio laughed, "like a tomato~!"

The Italian threw more complaints at Antonio but it was as if a barrier was blocking him from receiving them. The titanium door opened and a familiar face stopped the two's exchange. Antonio's eyes sparkled but he never Lovino from his embrace. "_Mi amigo,_ it's been a while! How was your mission?" The man with snow white hair and crimson eyes let out an annoying laugh.

"I did an awesome job again, as usual," he bragged, flashing a lopsided grin.

"_Si,_ you're still the same as always, Gilbert," Antonio laughed and squeezed Lovino harder.

Lovino flailed his arms at him in response. Agent Gilbert dragged a chair next to the duo and sat on it with crossed legs. He (finally) came back from a really long mission that caused his absence from the HQ for three weeks. Installing the new surveillance cameras around the city was hard, but luckily his rations of beer kept him alive. _Ah_, beer. It was like Gilbert's energy pill, but Commander Arthur forbade him to drink beer during the mission. He disagreed and left immediately, holding two bags of beer on his hands. Now, he just overcame the hangover from last night's drink in the city's China town. He then fiddled and played around with his spare bottle of beer which he kept in his large sling bag. He opened the bottle cap with the edge of the table and chugged it down.

"Anyways," Gilbert let out a relieved 'ahh', "why did the Commander call us here?"

Antonio softened his embrace on Romano who kept pounding his shoulder. "_No lo sé, mi amigo_," he shrugged as Lovino threw his hands off of his waist. "It was just announced on the P.A. system that we should meet here." Gilbert then frowned and nodded. He continued to chug down his beer and kept letting out 'ahh's. Once again, the door opened and revealed another member. Her long brown hair flowed as she grabbed a seat next to Gilbert and her emerald eyes were scanning him. She then smacked him on the shoulder. _Really_ hard.

"Looks like you haven't changed in three weeks of installing cameras, Gilbert."

Gilbert yelped in pain and spat some of his beer out. "_Mein gott,_ Elizaveta! Greet me more properly."

Agent Elizaveta let out a laugh that led Antonio to laugh along with her. Lovino also chuckled to himself. Elizaveta then high-fived Antonio and poked Lovino on the forehead.

"You still act like yourself too, Lovino." She teased.

Lovino looked away and turned red. "Shut up, damn it."

Antonio suddenly yelped "You're so cute!" and once again enveloped Lovino in his arms. Lovino then repeatedly flailed and cursed at the Spaniard. Elizaveta only let out a relieved sigh and rested her elbow on the table. It was another day in HQ, but surprisingly all of the members were called to gather in the meeting room. Her suspicion rose as she stared into space. Was it an announcement? No, it probably involved something else like a new case. She nodded and stopped when Gilbert was gawking at her as if she was nuts. She snatched the beer bottle from him and taunted.

"Why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong with thinking about things, you narcissistic bastard?"

Gilbert then let out a gasp. "I can't help it! You looked like you were trying to take a hard dump."

Elizaveta's patience was tested and she threatened Gilbert with a chair. Gilbert flinched but still threw another insult at her. The argument stirred and Elizaveta grabbed Gilbert's collar. Gilbert hesitated and still continued to give out '_I'm too awesome to get hurt because of you'_ insults or '_I really should try to teach you manners'_ insults. The whole room was filled with noise until the door opened again to reveal three more members.

Agent Yao swiftly took a chair away from the innocent-looking Agent Ivan who gave out a dark aura. Lieutenant Francis gracefully grabbed a chair and gave Elizaveta a wink that made her want to rip the hair under his chin. Everyone in the room the calmed themselves down after seeing Ivan's dark aura surrounding him. Agent Yao continued to shiver like a helpless puppy. Gilbert whispered not so obviously to Francis who was sitting with a flamboyant flirty look on his face.

"Oi, long time no see, Francis. Don't mean to pry, but what in beer did Ivan do to Yao again?" Gilbert asked as he placed empty bottle of beer on the table. Francis only let out a sigh and leaned near Gilbert's shoulder for his answer.

"_Mon ami, _I think now is not the perfect time for this. Maybe later because you'd be targeted on the balls if you ask now."

Gilbert then gulped and nodded, realizing that Ivan would once again go on a rampage. He sure was really useful on missions but sometimes he gives the oddest, maybe even, the scariest aura around the members. That thought caused shivers go down Gilbert's spine. Everyone nearly jumped out of their skins when Ivan, asked with a beaming face,

"Wonder what this meeting is about," he chimed.

"_Oui,_" France agreed, "it's rare for all of us to gather in one place."

"Exactly, what I had in mind. I mean, our missions nowadays mostly involve stalking people." Gilbert gurgled.

"Don't talk while you're drinking," Elizaveta snapped. "It's disgusting."

"Maybe our higher ranking bastards are giving us a promotion." Lovino spoke with a tinge of happiness in his voice.

"No," Yao entered the conversation. The crew turned their heads to look at the still afraid Chinese man. "I think there might be a _real _mission this time."

Everyone agreed. They nodded at each other, with Ivan just smiling at them. Suddenly, the people in the room were alarmed when the door opened. They all stood up from their seats, and becoming serious.

"Good day, sir," everyone around the table echoed.

Commander Arthur just simply gave a nod of his head and gestured for everyone to take a seat. Roderich and Kiku took the remaining seats that were across from each other. The noisy hangout room turned into a formal meeting. Everyone was glancing at their superior. Arthur let out a cough and spoke.

"We've finally got a mission," he declared immediately. "A proper one."

Everyone was awestruck and clapped their hands in amusement. Arthur suddenly gave a frown.

"However, we'll be dealing with one of the hardest criminals in the city so don't take it so lightly. Especially, because our criminal is this bloody wanker."

Arthur slid a folder onto the table and everyone leaned closer to look at it. Arthur opened it and everyone's eyes widened. Their eyes moved as they saw their target's description. The folder contained no picture but just a really long description about the criminal. Elizaveta's mouth formed an 'o'. "I've heard of him before." She said, pointing at the folder. "He's the one who caused the robbery at the Nightingale Museum."

Arthur gave a quick smile. "Correct. In fact, he did almost every robbery around the city. Now, he just doubled the chaos in the city this year."

"That bastard!" Lovino cursed. "He can't just play around as if we're his toys."

"Calm down, Lovi~!" Antonio said in a calming way. "You're not the only one who's excited about this."

Immediately, everyone started throwing comments around about their target. Roderich then gave Arthur a _please-tell-them-what-happened _look. Arthur nodded and he gestured for everyone to keep quite.

"We have one slight adjustment in our statuses now." Arthur added.

Lovino's eyes suddenly twinkled. He expected another promotion, but sadly, he got the wrong idea. Arthur then explained what happened in his conference with the city officials. Arthur spoke, seeing most of the members show surprise on their face; even Gilbert did a spit take on his beer the moment he heard that the SPF was now exposed.

"We must accept the fact that our name shall no longer be secret to the public. Our priority right now is to lure Suspect #3079 by revealing ourselves. It's time we started being the bait and the predator for once." Arthur declared. Everyone had no choice but to submit but Lovino cursed under his breath. The silence broke when Kiku raised his hand. Arthur gestured for him to state his question.

"Did you reveal all of the members?" Kiku asked with a nonchalant expression.

Arthur shook his head. "I only revealed Roderich and I's connection to the SP. We can use the rest of you as an advantage." Everyone let out a sigh of relief. They were glad that only their commander and detective were known to the public. Arthur then flipped another page from the back of the suspect's information.

"These will be our groupings." Arthur explained. "We'll be spying on the following men shown."

Four men were shown in the paper. The first one had blonde hair and violet-blue eyes. The second one was a tanned colored man with his hair tied back into a ponytail. The third one had a masked man. Lastly, the fourth picture had a man with teal colored eyes and blonde hair flowing until his neck. Beside the pictures were the target's names and the people who are going to spy them.

"WHAT?!"

Everyone was startled and found Elizaveta grinding her teeth while holding the table harshly. Arthur turned to look at the folder and he groaned in disgust. Roderich simply smiled at their brilliant reactions.

* * *

**Author's Note: Will be released SOON. I'm doing a collab with mikishami on this :D Plus she wanted to have her fave pairing in APH on the next chapter. **

**Who are they? **

**You might have an idea.**


	3. Who's Who? (Part 1)

Remember when I said I would post Chapter 3, _soon_? I lied.

I was suffering from a long writer's block last week and I was really busy for the previous two weeks. I couldn't have finished this without mikishami's help. She helped in some of the scenes in this chappie. Thank you, mikeehsshammeehh!~ Anyways, the pairing that's focused here is... England x Hungary. Well, mikishami wanted a EngHun chapter but the whole fanfic will actually be focused on England. The pairing focused? Oh, you'll know when I post more chapters. I wanted to try writing about crack pairings. Mehehe... I should do that.. After I'm done with this fanfic /slapped. Anyways, I'm sorry for the long Author's note.

Here we go!~

* * *

_"_Why do I have to be paired up with_** HIM**__?"_

_ "_Why do I have to be paired up with_** HER**__?"_

Arthur and Elizaveta looked at each other in disgust as they said this simultaneously. Roderich smirked and replied, "The two of you are the best when it comes to undercover missions. You're also good at chasing the target if he - or she - is running."

The pair sent death glares at each other for a while, until they both erupted. Elizaveta threatened her superior with her fist while Arthur was barking insults at her. Roderich sighed and gestured them to keep quiet. It took a bit of a while, but eventually the pair stopped trying to kill each other and composed themselves. Arthur began the discussion, ignoring the glaring 'monster' behind him.

"What am I supposed to do in this mission? Better be a good plan, Roderich. I don't want to waste my time with this… this _tomboy_ here," Arthur taunted, and he flashed a wicked smile at the brown-haired woman.

Elizaveta's eye twitched as she tried to control her temper – fortunately, Roderich was able to calm her down with a simple, reassuring nod. He turned his head towards the monitors at the side of the room.

"In this mission," he began, "we're going to spy on _him_, our first 'suspect.'"

His index finger pointed to the left-most monitor that revealed a man with blonde hair and violet eyes. He wore glasses and looked too calm do anything evil. Elizaveta and Arthur nodded.

"But I don't get why I, the commander, have to join this mission," Arthur complained.

"Well, our force is short on members so suck it up," Roderich snapped.

"Anyways," Elizaveta started, ignoring Arthur, who was about to throw another complaint, "why is he suspected as #3079?" Roderich moved one step backward and revealed another monitor. It showed a video of someone running on the dark streets of the city.

"This footage was taken at the Nightingale Museum. As I looked deeper into the video, I saw this."

The video had a date at the most right corner. The time and date were labeled: 9:55 PM, July 14, 2013. He pointed at the man who was running swiftly to his brick red motor. It was an old model of a Harley-Davidson motor in the 90's. He slowed the video down and made everything somewhat clearer. A bit of the man's appearance was revealed; he had blonde hair and glasses, but the rest of his appearance was blurry. The Hungarian brunette nodded and rubbed her chin with her thumb, as if she was stroking a beard.

"In other words, you suspected that the person running to the motorcycle was the suspect? Good point, but it's hard to make out the man's appearance," Elizaveta said as she examined the monitor closely.

"That's why we're starting with the people who appear to look like the criminal we saw," Arthur said, advancing towards the monitor. "Our second priority is to interrogate the people who appear to have connections with different mobs, gangs or any criminal group."

"Yes, well said," Roderich said halfheartedly. "Now, we're going to follow our 'suspect' to a local bar that is just at the east of our headquarters. The bar's name is Lé Bar."

Arthur laughed. "Lé Bar? I bet the owner was a lazy arse for making such a ridiculous name."

"Well, I think he had too much beer," Elizaveta said, agreeing with Arthur's insult… for once, since it wasn't directed at her.

"Let's not focus on the name, shall we?" Roderich fixed his glasses in frustration and continued to discuss the plan. "You're task is to enter the bar and follow him. You'll be disguised as a couple."

Arthur and Elizaveta simultaneously reacted for the second time that day.

"WHAT?!"

"It seems more convincing that way. Besides, I can't just make one of you cross dress," Roderich complained.

"That plan would be better than for me to be stuck with this British faggot," Elizaveta growled.

Arthur gave her a death glare and she replied with one of her own, only much fiercer. Roderich only sighed and threw the two of them casual clothes.

"Good luck, you two."

* * *

The pair stared into each other's eyes. Elizaveta impatiently tapped her fingers on the table while Arthur was playing with his shot of beer. The tension between the two was very awkward. Elizaveta had to go all 'lovey-dovey' on her superior just to spy on their 'suspect'! She hated that very idea. Blaming Roderich for everything that was happening now, she snapped to attention when suddenly the bar's door opened and a man with blonde hair and glasses appeared. The pair turned to each other and acted fast. Arthur grabbed Elizaveta's right hand.

"I love you more than the stars in the sky, darling!"

Elizaveta was disgusted but immediately put up another act. She held both of her hands on the hand Arthur grabbed. "No, I love you more." Their suspect passed by the counter and ordered a mug of beer. He grabbed a seat and added something on the beer. Was that syrup? They couldn't tell. Their suspect grinned and chugged down on it. Arthur let out a low disgusted groan.

"Who in the world would want to add syrup on beer? That's just plain disgusting."

"It's no different than the scones you make," Elizaveta said, grinding her teeth.

Their argument ended when their 'suspect' turned to face them. Immediately, the pair held each other's hands and stared affectionately into their eyes. Arthur and Elizaveta laughed like they were a newly married couple going to their honey moon. Their target looked somewhere else. Arthur and Elizaveta stopped playing lovey-dovey and stared as if they were going to bore a hole in him.

Arthur mentally gave himself a groan. He didn't want to do this mission with Elizaveta but he had no choice. He had to get the bloody criminal. He continued to 'thoroughly inspect' their 'suspect' with the brown-haired tomboy. _Oh well. Might as well get this over with._

Arthur sighed, already having been 'observing' him for a long time. His eyes felt a bit heavy after taking another shot of beer, and… He felt hot. No, not in the 'sexy' way but in the 'temperature' way. His face became redder and his vision blurred. He noticed Elizaveta's eyes widening.

"Are you okay?" She shook him violently, and his eyes widened. Seems like that was enough to sober him up.

Unexpectedly, their 'suspect' faced them. Arthur whispered softly. "Our target is facing us." Elizaveta attempted to make another lovey dovey compliment but Arthur beat her to it.

"If you really loved me, you'd kiss me here right now." He said, making it loud enough for their 'suspect'. _What the hell!? Why'd I say… that?!_

Elizaveta mentally gagged but immediately acted. "Of course I'd kiss you, my cute little mochi!"

Her eye twitched as she said this. _Damn you, Arthur,_ she thought, repressing the urge to kick him under the table.

Arthur, shocked at himself for saying what he just said, became _even more_ surprised when he saw her leaning forward. Her lips were slightly puckered, and… spirits, he had no choice. He got himself caught up in this, anyway. Besides, the stupid brunette tomboy looked gullible when she did that. Arthur leaned forward and parted his lips a little. He would totally wipe his mouth with soap tonight. Their faces slowly grew closer together… until Arthur could feel her hot breath on his lips.

Suddenly, Elizaveta turned away, leaving Arthur hanging and thinking he'd kissed her.

"Wha… hey, what was that for!?" he asked in a rushed whisper, a blush decorating his cheeks.

The Hungarian woman pointed at the direction to where there target was supposed to be sitting. The British gentleman looked, but found no one. They noticed their 'suspect' heading towards the comfort room, and Elizaveta got up in no time, dragging the slightly disappointed Brit with her.

The pair slowly watched their target as he closed the door to the boy's restroom. The Hungarian moved closer, sticking her back against the wall and forcing Arthur to mimic her as well.

"Okay, why-"

"Shh..." Elizaveta silenced Arthur and they heard a toilet flush. The door swung open, revealing their 'suspect'. He was innocently drying his hands with a handkerchief and humming an opening song from a popular series. Elizaveta panicked, concerned about the possibility that their 'suspect' would catch them stalking him. Elizaveta tried to think of what to do, but Arthur beat her to the punch.

"We should pretend to make out."

Arthur quickly pinned her against the wall and smirked upon seeing her shocked expression. He moved his head closer, feeling a bit surprised when she didn't resist.

Arthur's head neared Elizaveta's neck, and her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. For the first time, she was quite impressed with his acting skills, but she felt more disgusted that they were doing… _this…_ even though it was just acting. Their 'suspect' caught the pair and his face turned extremely red.

"Um- you two can stop the act. I-I know you're both following me."

Elizaveta froze, her brain still taking in the sudden information. She then lowered her head, her bangs covering the angry gleam in her eyes.

"Then… _this position is unnecessary!" _she shouted angrily, a healthy red coloring dusting the bridge of her nose, kicking Arthur in the vital regions.

"YOWW!"

Arthur stumbled back and cried in pain. He yelled profanities at the frustrated woman while rolling around the floor. The 'suspect', who was still blushing madly, coughed to get her attention back. Elizaveta turned with a bit of surprise and sighed.

"I guess we have to explain everything to him. Right, Art-"

"It's hot in here."

Arthur removed his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt. Elizaveta immediately face-palmed to realize that the Brit was drunk. She kicked him on the shin and once again sent him off to roll around the floor. The 'suspect' slightly trembled when he saw the evil aura that the Hungarian woman was giving.

"Excuse me; I just want to know if I did something wrong. I'm greatly sorry if I've did."

Elizaveta sighed. "I'll explain everything. Just have a drink with us first."

* * *

"Oh, so you're doing a mission, which is to find a criminal?"

"Yes, we thought you had a connection to him."

The pair and the 'suspect' sat together drinking their served beer. Arthur didn't pay any attention to the two of them and yelled profanities at the people who were passing by the table. Elizaveta ignored him and continued to explain more details to their 'suspect'.

"We're greatly sorry about our behavior. I feel really bad for you and I even hate being with that guy."

Elizaveta hissed at the Brit who was calling the bartender for more beer. Their suspect shrugged it off and accepted her apology. "Is it alright but may I ask who gave you this mission?" Elizaveta inhaled and gave the longest answer.

"The two of us are from a police force that works under the police force of this city but we are more different because we operate secretly without most of the citizens knowing. We are known as the SPF a.k.a. The Secret Police Force and we are also in charge of monitoring the city's whereabouts and activities. Well, due to some minor changes our police force's name is been spread in order to scare the criminal we told you about."

Their 'suspect' blinked. He drank his maple-coated beer and remained silent. "Oh, I see," was all he could say. Elizaveta reached out her hand to the dumb-struck man and smiled.

"I haven't introduced myself. I'm Elizaveta Herdevary, an agent working under SPF," she glared at the drunken Brit, "and this is Arthur Kirkland, my superior a.k.a. the SPF's commander." The 'suspect' could hardly believe that the drunken man before him was actually a really important factor of the city. He reached for Elizaveta's hand and shook it awkwardly.

"I'm Matthew Williams. I'm pleased to meet you."

"We know that," Arthur rasped, "we know everything about you."

Out of nowhere, Elizaveta got a frying pan and hit the Brit on his cheek. His head gave a loud "bong" before he collapsed on the table. Matthew only smiled awkwardly as Elizaveta smiled.

"I believe I still have to ask some questions about our mission." Elizaveta stated. Matthew trembled when he once again saw an evil aura roaming around the table. He felt that this was much scarier than in games where a zombie is about to eat your head or a creepy stalker is following you. He snapped back in reality and nodded. "It's okay. I can answer them."

Elizaveta rested both of her elbows on the table and intertwined her fingers. Matthew felt a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead. Couldn't he just get a good drink at the bar he usually goes in? Elizaveta scrutinized him with her piercing green eyes. All Matthew did was stare into them and smile awkwardly. _God_, he thought, _she's beautiful and scary_.

"Were you at the Nightingale Museum on the 14th of July? During night time?"

Matthew shook his head. Elizaveta cursed inwardly. He wasn't lying. She could just tell him in the eyes. She was very good at studying her target. The way they act when they're hiding something, how much they sweat whether they were a witness of the crime or the suspect. She didn't back down and continued to question him.

"Do you possess a brick red motor? Specifically a Harley-Davidson one?"

Once again, the nervous Matthew shook his head. Hold on… a red motor?

"I b-b-believe I know someone with a motor of the same color."

"Please do tell the name."

The two were startled when Arthur spoke. His face was flushed in red but he looked a bit calmer now. "I'd also like you to describe the person's appearance," he buttoned his shirt while saying this, "and also about his actions at the night of July 14." Matthew nodded and spat out immediately.

"His name is Vash Zwingli. He's actually a co-worker in the company I work in. He rode a red motor, but I'm not sure with the brand though." Arthur nodded, encouraging him to tell more details.

"He has short blonde hair reaching until his shoulders and teal-colored eyes. He's pale skinned and he doesn't wear glasses. I'm taller than him by one inch. I-I don't really remember his actions during July the 14th," Matthew looked down disappointingly, "I'm sorry."

Arthur folded his arms and Elizaveta gazed at Arthur, waiting for a response. This was a bit twisted. In the tape, it showed a young man with blonde hair with glasses possessing a red Harley-Davidson motor. Matthew fits the appearance but he didn't arrive at the Nightingale Museum and he didn't possess a red Harley-Davidson motor. He had another option to make: interrogate Vash Zwingli. He stopped thinking deeply and nodded at Matthew.

"I see, then. Thank you for answering our questions. We're sorry to bother you, Mr. Williams."

Elizaveta quickly gave a nod. "We're sorry for our behavior. Just call us when you have a problem." She caught a small card from her side pocket and handed it over to Matthew. It was a call card. It was labeled:

_Elizaveta Herdevary, SPF Agent, xxx-xxx-xxx._

Matthew placed the card on his chest pocket and shook both of the pair's hands. "I'll do it if I can." The pair left and Matthew was left alone on the table. He was actually feeling excited to receive a girl's number. He felt his face getting warmer just by thinking about this and gulped his beer down. Was this bar going to be the place of where he finds his destiny? He shook his head realizing that this place was full of random people. He sighed and called the bar tender for another mug of beer.

* * *

Arthur's first attempt in finding the culprit failed. He felt really dizzy and he was feeling extremely hot. He stumbled down and then Elizaveta groaned. She pulled him up with one arm and almost sent him flying away. Arthur complained.

"Shut up," Elizaveta hissed, "I'm really getting tired of how you're an idiot when it comes to drinking."

"Oi, at least I don't have anger management issues and try to dress like the opposite gender."

Elizaveta punched him on the abdomen and he let an "oof" escape his mouth. Elizaveta sighed as she helped the drunken Brit regain his balance. "We should've installed a tracking device on him," Arthur said. Elizaveta grinned and took out another call card from her pocket. "These babies are the best trackers and bug devices I know." Arthur smirked. She sure got a lot of tricks on her sleeve. Elizaveta then frowned and digged her hands into her pockets.

"Looks like our first 'suspect' wasn't the one we're looking for, huh?"

"Well, we could always interrogate Vash Zwingli."

"So are you saying we're going to perform _Trial-and-Error_?"

The Brit smirked. "You could say so."

* * *

That was supposed to be a cliff hanger. Was it good enough?

Anyway, I added Canada in the fanfic. Horray! Sadly, he isn't the culprit that's all I can say. Oh yeah, I know Switzerland is mentioned but I won't say anything else. Just wait for me to post more chapters then he'll appear. I think you might have an idea of who Suspect #3079 can be. Not gonna say who, it's for you to know. This time I'll push myself to post chapter four early.


	4. Who's Who? (Part 2)

**AN: Finally! After so many weeks of not updating, I've given you the fourth chapter. Thank's for the guys who've posted reviews and followed/favorite this story. I'm touched and I'm glad my effort is appreciated OTL thank you so much guys! Enjoy~**

* * *

"Keep moving forward, bastard."

"Lovi... I can't... make it."

"I don't care just move!"

"But it's so hot in here..."

Antonio fanned himself with his hand as he was crawling along with Lovino. Lovino groaned and glared at the Spaniard to move forward. He couldn't believe it. He was going to be stuck on a mission with _him._ Lovino felt like killing himself. He was crawling in an air vent tunnel with the Spanish bastard. And among all of the members of SP, why was Antonio his partner? He glared at Antonio while they continued crawling on the air vent tunnel.

Oh, why were they in the air vent tunnel you ask?

It was because their fucking 'suspect' will be "monitored" in the house and the best option was to "monitor" him from above. Why the heck would you "monitor" someone in the house? Why couldn't it be outside where it's fucking wide enough to spy on someone? Lovino grimaced as he thought of this and then went back to glaring at Antonio, who was crawling in front of him.

Suddenly, Lovino gave a horrified face while he was crawling.

He was facing Antonio's arse. Antonio's sweaty and surprisingly big arse was moving near Lovino's face. Lovino felt disgusted and _really _felt like aborting the mission and leaving the Spanish bastard alone. He decided to ignore the moving butt before him but he couldn't. The butt was too close for Lovino's face, which made him feel very uncomfortable. When Lovino was about to tell Antonio to move faster, Antonio halted.

This made Lovino's face crash unto Antonio's butt cheeks. Lovino stammered back and his face was changed into a dark shade of red. Antonio flushed as he felt the smaller man's face bump unto his butt. He turned his head and found Lovino covering his face. Antonio laughed and Lovino continued scowling at him with his flushed face.

"I'm sorry, Lovi. I didn't mean to do that." Antonio apologized and chuckled at the same time.

"Watch where you're going next time, bastardo." Lovino spat.

"Okay," Antonio smirked and jerked his chin, "I found some light."

Lovino recovered from his embarrassing moment and looked at where Antonio was pointing to. There was a small window in the tunnel that glowed with light. Lovino decided to crawl towards it and Antonio followed.

Antonio and Lovino peeped from the window. Below them was a room with cream white sofas with… neon pink pillows? Lovino felt like gagging at the sight of it. What bastard would design his house with pink pillows? _The suspect was probably an idiot_, Lovino thought.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a slamming door followed by footsteps. Antonio bobbed his head to observe closer. Their 'suspect' arrived. She was holding a pink cellphone while she was playing with her pink painted nails. Wow, was she a fan of pink.

Wait... that isn't a she.

Antonio scrutinized through the window and was taken aback. That _she_ was a _he_. He was talking on the phone with an annoying accent. The accent that the girls from the movie, Mean Girls, use. Antonio was a bit confused whether he should be amused or disgusted. Lovino, who was giving a confused expression like his, continued to observe beside him.

"So, like, I told him that we should hang out," The 'suspect' said to his caller, "but then he, like, totally said he was busy. Totally uptight, much?"

The suspect stayed silent while analyzing his nails and then responded, "Like, yeah girl. Talk to you later."

The pair sighed in relief as their 'suspect' ended the call with weird kissing noises. He left the area and the sounds of footsteps became faint. Antonio gestured Lovino to follow him and they crawled to the next passage in the tunnel. They saw another window and peeped through it again. Lovino thought this was tiring. Why couldn't he just go to him directly?

That's a perfect idea.

Lovino tugged Antonio's sleeve, "Hey, bastardo, I have an idea," he said, "I'll try calling _him_ to go outside and then you pretend to be someone else."

Antonio frowned, "but how do we get _his_ number?"

Lovino suddenly took out a rope from his pocket. "Get his phone then."

Antonio asked with a confused expression, "how?"

Lovino face palmed. This is why he hates being on mission with him. He grabbed a suction device from his other pocket and tied it on the rope. It was a good thing he bought these along with him.

He is so fucking smart.

Antonio, being the idiot he is, snapped his fingers when he realized Lovino's plan. Lovino scowled as he tossed the rope to Antonio. He gripped on the rope and let the suction device face downward.

"Wait for my signal to release it."

Antonio nodded. Lovino first observed their 'suspect'. _He_ was scavenging for food on his refrigerator while singing the chorus of a famous pop song. Lovino found it so hard to not laugh at his 'suspect'. He signaled Antonio by flipping his middle finger at Antonio's face. Antonio nodded gleefully and carefully lowered the rope.

"Lower," Lovino commanded.

"But, Lovi, I'm afraid if it won't get stuck-"

"Do you believe me or not?"

Their argument ended when they heard the sound of the fridge close. Lovino furiously gestured Antonio to raise the rope. He did this rapidly before the 'suspect' would notice. Lovino clicked his tongue. Looks like it won't be easy to grab the phone. Unless…

Lovino suddenly reached at his side pocket and grabbed a tomato. He punched a hole on it using his fingernail and let the hole face the window. Antonio was about to question him until Romano squeezed it. Drips of tomato juice fell on the carpet which made the suspect startled.

"Oh, god, I thought I totally killed all the rats last week," their 'suspect' complained while looking up. He muttered something about his carpet and went off somewhere. Lovino chuckled at his plan and then demanded Antonio to drop the rope. Antonio lowered it and the suction device touched the phone.

"Yes," Antonio said with a concentrated expression and his tongue stuck out.

He lowered the rope a bit and miraculously, the phone stuck to it. Lovino warned him to pull faster and he did. Lovino grabbed the phone from the suction device and he scrolled through his contacts. He dialed his number which was titled "My #". He smirked and ordered Antonio to place it down. He quickly did this and with perfect timing he heard footsteps. He pulled the rope up and Lovino moved further away from the window. He covered the side of his mouth while belling their target's phone.

Suddenly, a ringtone was heard from below. The 'suspect' arrived with a rag and grabbed his phone.

"Like, hello, this is Feliks." Their 'suspect' greeted.

"Good day, monsieur" Lovino said in a strange French accent, "we would like to inform you that your delivery for your French hairspray would be delayed."

"Oh no! I thought I, like, ordered for Scandinavian nail polish!" Feliks gasped.

Lovino didn't know his bluff would cover him. Not to mention, he finally used his French accent in a mission. It must be his lucky day. He signaled Antonio to go outside. He swiftly tossed a jacket and a hat to Antonio and demanded him to go down. Antonio nodded and crawled out of the tunnel. Lovino sighed.

"Anyways, monsieur, one of our employees would like to discuss this issue with you. He is currently waiting outside your house," Lovino said to the phone in his French accent.

"I'm totally coming outside," Feliks said. A doorbell rang and Feliks his phone while placing his rag on the kitchen sink. Lovino crawled to the other side of the tunnel in order to follow Feliks. He made it in time to see Antonio with his disguise and Feliks inviting him to go in. Poor bastard, he looked confused the moment he was invited to the sit on the couch. Lovino enjoyed his misery and watched closely through the window.

"So, I, like, ordered Scandinavian nail polish but your buddy I totally ordered French hairspray. Can you totally cancel that and, like, make it to the one I wanted?" Feliks ranted.

Antonio laughed nervously. "_Si, _I can do-"

"Oh wait! Can you, like, recommend me to some of your mascara?"

"Umm… you can try the _Beso de Tomate_…?"

Feliks clapped in delight. "I totally never heard of that, but I'd, like, totally try it."

Lovino grimaced. Antonio wasn't helping at all. He had to start a conversation related to the Suspect #3079. He couldn't wait any longer. He slowly opened the window of the air vent tunnel. Antonio noticed the window open. He had an instinct when he could feel Lovino's presence which pretty much disturbed Lovino. Lovino mouthed something at him and the Spaniard nodded knowingly. Lovino gave him a glare as he returned inside the tunnel and placed the window. Antonio nodded and turned to look at Feliks, who was still ranting about his order.

"Excuse me, _señor, _I'll do something about the order but in the meantime," he crossed his legs and grinned, "may we just talk?"

Feliks nodded. "Alright, but you have to totally order that Beso de whatever for me."

Lovino face palmed. He didn't expect the Spaniard to be so straight-forward. However, his straight-forwardness did work… for the first time.

Feliks began. "I know you, like, wanna rest a bit. Right, Mr…"

"Garcia. Davito Garcia." Antonio lied.

"Wow, how Spanish! I like, totally love your name, Mr. Garcia."

"I like your… um… nail polish!" Antonio tried to cope up with him.

"Thanks. I totally paid a lot for it."

Antonio sighed mentally. If he doesn't ask him questions soon they will fail this mission. Now, that he looked at Feliks, he doesn't seem to be a criminal mastermind but looks can deceive. Like the first time he met Lovino. He appeared innocent and friendly at first only to realize he cursed like a whirlwind and was very unsociable. But, that never stopped Antonio from approaching him. He looks cute when he pouts!

_Antonio… focu_s, he thought.

He snapped back to reality and then decided to change the conversation. He had to do this. For Lovino's sake… no… for _their_ sake.

"So, did you hear about the robbery at Nightingale Museum? The Museum that's just at downtown," Lovino began.

"I totally did. I mean some of my girls said that there was some strange dude who, like, stayed a long time in the museum. I mean, like, during night hours."

Antonio's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Totally, they said he was cute."

"Umm... Okay?" Antonio tried to hide his disgust but he was glad he found evidence. No, not how handsome but something about that.

"What did he look like?" Antonio asked.

"Well, the girls said he wore this weird cowboy hat that they couldn't see his face. But they said he sounded really handsome when he talked," Feliks answered while blowing at his nails.

"Were you with them at the night they met?" Lovino shuffled from above to hear the response.

Feliks responded, "I wish I was, like, totally with them but I was hanging out with my buddy, Toris."

Antonio analyzed Feliks's statement. The wave patterns, the pause and the tone. He clicked his tongue. Feliks wasn't guilty. He knew it would be lie by identifying with those three things.

Antonio decided to close their conversation by holding out a hand. "Anyways, I'm running late. I'll deliver them, _muchos rapidos_."

Feliks shook his hand. "I don't know what you just said, but okay! Deliver them!"

Lovino grimaced. All of their efforts were gone when Feliks answered the question, with no guilt. He cursed under his breath and crawled out of the tunnel.

Antonio was outside the gate and turned as he saw Lovino's head bob out of the air vent's entrance. Lovino flipped and landed on his feet. He sneaked outside of the gate and sat beside Antonio.

"Shit, he's not the one. I can tell." Lovino muttered.

Antonio pulled a smile to keep the atmosphere better. "It's alright. We'll catch that darn suspect," he patted on Lovino's head, "let's just report to HQ about this."

"Let go of my head you bastard," was all Lovino said.

* * *

Roderich rapidly paced at the museum. Elizaveta and him were on a mission to investigate at the Nightingale Museum. They followed the security guard who led them to the monitoring room. The moment they entered, two other guards sat in front of the multiple monitors. They exchanged handshakes and greetings.

"He's here to look at the scene of the robbery," the guard who led the duo said, "He's the chief of the police department and the lady is his partner."

The other guards exchanged looks and nodded. Immediately, Roderich and Elizaveta sat on the chairs. Roderich pressed the play button at the recorded scene. The video played and noticed the red Harley Davidson Motor, again. He scrutinized and noticed the driver of the motor dropped something. Elizaveta also noticed this and ordered him to replay it. They paused exactly at the scene where the item dropped from the motor.

"Oh, that?" The second guard realized, "I've got that it with me here."

The pair exchanged looks and simultaneously nodded for the evidence. The other guard got a small plastic bag from the corner of the table. He gave it to Roderich.

Suddenly, Roderich and Elizaveta's eyes sparkled in delight.

* * *

**I love placing cliff hangers! But this one wasn't good though. Anyways, I bet most of the Spamano fans might have loved this. Especially the first part, those dirty minds can really get what I mean right? And I just felt like using Spain's arse for this chapter. I bet you guys already guess who's suspect #3079. No kidding, it's kind of obvious. Anyways, I hope you guys can wait patiently for Chapter 5 because... well.. I'm awfully busy. Thank you for baring with me! **


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